Talk Tuesday - When did being a black woman stop being good enough.

The other day I was driving and this thought popped into my mind....When did being a Black Woman stop being good enough?

I feel this is a very valid question because the black youth need to know they are enough,  ESPECIALLY the black girls. I love hip hop and rap mucis, but they are guilty of perpetuating what is considered to be the beautiful. You hear it in the songs..."I don't want her unless she looks exotic"....or "I want a bad yella bone". The list goes on on and on. Being from the south, I'm familiar with the whole terminology when it comes to the different skin colors in the black community.  "Light skin" vs "Dark skin" had always been an issue in the black community,  but it's certainly not exclusive to us.  However, I feel that we celebrate skin color for all the wrong reasons.

When I was younger I was guilty of saying ignorant stuff, because that's what I was "taught". And when I say taught, I'm saying that's what I saw and heard. For example,  my middle sister was a cute baby. She was called chocolate baby, my little black baby, or my dark skinned baby And even though these terms were said with love,  they are actually harmful as a child. It teaches us at an early age to define people based on their appearance and how they look. Growing up I remember saying things like, "She's cute for a Dark Skinned girl" or "He's fine with his yella self". Lucky for me...I grew up and became a little wiser.

It matters what we say to our black youth. They need to hear from a young age that they are beautiful/handsome and they are enough the way they are.  The need to know that no matter the color of the their skin,  what truly matters is their character.  Are they a good person, do they treat people with respect, are they kind to others...because at the end of the day, assholes come in all shades and they don't want to be one of them.

We need to learn to love on our little black girls and boys so they can grow up to love and respect themselves. They need to know they don't have to change how they look to become someone's fantasy.... that is not real beauty.  Teach them to love who they are,  flaws and all. That starts at home or with a positive adult figure.  Let them know they don't need to bleach their skin to appear lighter. And it's okay to wear your "natural" hair because it's just as beautiful as the young lady with the weave or extentions. They need to know they are enough and they are beautiful. 
Teach them it's okay to enhance their own beauty, but never mask it with "stuff" that is fed to us in magazines, on TV, or the Internet. 

We all have our insecurities, but as a Black Woman I love me, imperfections and all. And if it's something I can fix without surgery, I will. I wear makeup because it enhances my beauty....it NEVER define it. I wear my hair natural...but I will pop on a wig in a heartbeat. My hair is part of me...it does not define me.  I challenge you all to change your way of thinking when it comes to what is considered the standard of beauty and define it with your own terms.  Make a positive change to make a positive difference.

I am beautiful, I am outgoing, I am loving, and I am so much more. I am a Black Woman and I AM ENOUGH!!! Remember to REMAIN FABULOUS....regardless of what others may consider beautiful,  because YOU MATTER!!!!